Mark Proksch
Craig Balmer
Fred Zurtz
Mark
K-Strass
Trooper Zblocki
The Mummy/Benjamin Franklin/Albert Einstein/Rush Limbaugh
Abdul
Abdul/Wolfman/Mummy/Frankenstein/Charlie Chaplin
Abdul/W-3P0
Mark Proksch (archive footage)
Moe/Larry/Curly/Special Agent Jack Decker
Exterminator
Os
Abdul (uncredited)
Toby Dean
Teddy
Frankenstein (voice)
Jeffrey Presh
Philip
Gene
Father
Coleman
Dan
Himself - Storyteller
Sean
W.C. Fields
Mae West
Spider-Man
Mayor of the Munchkins
The Wolfman / Frankenstein / The Mummy / Abdul
Monty
Johnnie
Daniel 'Pryce' Wormald
Mel Buchanan
Randy Blink
Colin Robinson / Baby Colin
Roy (voice)
Waiter
Marv (voice)
Chad
Lou "Jewdini" Dinowitz
Nate
Gary
Mr. Dinkler (voice)
Abdul / Wolfman / Frankenstein / Bob Cratchit / Jacob Marley / Mummy / Charlie Chaplin / W-CPO
Hack-GPT (voice)