Murdoch Troon
'Jock' Everett / Kommondant Stamfel
R. S. Widdowes
Dexter Munro
Benny 'The Kid' Lindowski
Self
Self (archive footage)
Gofer / Slap (voice)
Postman
Mr. Majeika
Matt Fernie
Tourism Agent, Loch Ness Monster
Himself
Stanley Baxter