Sultan
Malice
Self
Major Wib
Narrator
D.J. (archive footage) (uncredited)
Achmed
John Bull
Bernie
Planet Jimmy (voice)
Bride's Father
Uncle Henry
Konrad 'Conny' Fischer
Golodkin
Alexei Sayle in a Hawaiian Shirt
Melvin Coombes
Self - Presenter
Mog
Dad
Inspector
Frank
Mighty Mac
Rittblatt
Clarence Flamer
Cabbie
Colin Goodman
Andy Carolides
Magar
Barbarossa
Toll Gate Keeper
X Ray Operator
Head torturer
The Voices
Paul
Beluga
Algy
Seemuller
2nd Detective
Bill
DJ
Newspaper Editor
Motorbike Cop
Carl Moss/Sterling Moss
Karl Marx
Lavrenti
D.J.
Commissar Solzhenitsyn
Puppeteer
The Balowski Family
Speaker in Market
Freddy Reeve
Pope John Paul II
Vlad Milcic
Anton Malinovsky
Graham
Dr. Ushma
Darren Dugdale
Himself
Alain Degout
Charles Frobisher
BacBac
Self - Panellist
Himself - Panellist
Compere