Leslie Nielsen

Lt. Frank Drebin

Alan North

Captain Ed Hocken

Ed Williams

Ted Olson

William Duell

Johnny the Snitch

Marvin Miller

Narrator

Rex Hamilton

Abraham Lincoln

Peter Lupus

Norberg

Kathryn Leigh Scott

Tommy Lasorda

Joyce Brothers

Dr. Joyce Brother

Connie Needham

Jill

Georg Stanford Brown

Barbara Tarbuck

Mrs. Twice

Grand L. Bush

Ken Michelman

Rebecca Holden

Stella

Dick Miller

Vic

Terry Wills

Patrick St. Esprit

K Callan

John Ashton

Danny Dayton

Joey

Nicolas Coster

Warner

Al Ruscio

Dick Clark

Dick Clark

Robert Costanzo

Lorne Greene

Stabbed Man

Robert Goulet

Executed Man

Spencer Milligan

Eddie

Bonnie Campbell-Britton

Lana

Kate O'Sullivan

Mimi

Claudette Nevins

Veronica Rivers

Jerry Layne

Willy

Wayne Winton

Coroner

Michael Frost

Heckler

William Shatner

Poisoned Man

Tessa Richarde

Mary

Florence Henderson

Targeted Homemaker

David Schwimmer

Patient

William Conrad

Stabbed Man

Floyd Levine

Lilibet Stern

Terri